Starting Over
by greysanatomyfanforever
Summary: This goes all the way back to when Derek picks Addison. After that, MerDer AU with hints of other characters in the show!
1. Chapter 1

**_So I'm new to this and it's a short chapter because I want to see how it's received. I really hope you like it! PS Slexie eventually comes in and stay c:_**

_"I think I like this rules thing."She said, putting on her coat._

_"Me too." He said, doing the same._

_Neither noticed the woman staring at them in the background until they turned. She sauntered over._

_Meredith felt like it was a blur, only noting the last thing Addison said. "And you must be the woman that's been screwing my husband."_

_Her flashback went forward slightly to the embarrassing speech she had given him, confessing how much she loved him. How she had sat at Joe's that night, waiting for him. But he chose. And he didn't choose her._

**Chapter 1:**

"Meredith, you have to get up." Cristina pulled a pillow off Meredith's face.

"No." Meredith mumbled. Then, a rush of nausea came over her and she sprinted out of bed into the bathroom where she barely made it before hurling.

"Mer?" Cristina asked, worried.

"Oh god oh god oh god." Meredith rambled. "I'm late."

"Captain obvious." Cristina replied, confused. "Your shift started 30 minutes ago."

"Cristina! I'm late. As in mother nature kind of late, which has never happened." Meredith replied, exasperated.

Cristina's face sank as the realization set in. "Oh no, Mer. Okay you know what, come to the hospital and I'll rush a blood test."

"You're my person." Meredith answered thankfully.

"Don't get all sappy on me." Cristina replied, smiling as she threw clean clothes at Meredith.

Four hours later, Meredith and Cristina were hiding in the basement staring at the results of the blood test for Jane Doe. **Positive** was the only word that stood out on the page.

"Cristina, what am I going to do? I'm all dark and twisty. There's no way I can raise a child. And there's no way I'm telling him. He chose his wife." Meredith wailed.

"Meredith. Keep it together, okay? Just keep it together. Are you going to keep it?" Cristina asked.

Meredith was silent for a few minutes. "I think I am."

"Okay. Well, we'll have to get you out of Seattle, then." Cristina said simply.

Meredith nodded. "Webber owes me. I'm going to talk to him. I was accepted into other programs, so I think I can transfer. Cristina, you'll be my person though, right?"

Cristina nodded. "We'll talk on the phone about all our men troubles because they have stupid boy penises."

Meredith laughed. "And now I'm knocked up by a guy who is freaking married to someone else."

The pair heard noises. "Go talk to the Chief, Mer. I'll cover for you."

After a short discussion with Dr. Webber, Meredith was ready to transfer. She had called the nursing home and arranged appropriate care for her mother. She'd finish her internship and residency at The Brigham Women's Hospital. She would leave in just 15 hours.

"So, I'm in charge of the house?" Cristina asked.

"If you don't mind, that'd be amazing. Izzie, George, and Alex should just hand their rent checks to you." Meredith replied, throwing her favorite Dartmouth t-shirt into her suitcase.

"I'm gonna miss you." Cristina finally said.

"I'll miss you too." Meredith said, pulling Cristina into a hug before Cristina could reject.

At the airport, Meredith and Cristina were saying their final goodbyes.

"I still cannot believe you snuck out of your own house or that you're going across the country." Cristina muttered.

"I am getting away from McDreamy and his stupid boy penis." Meredith replied, taking a sip of her water as Cristina downed a shot of tequila. "And I can't even drink now. I mean, I used to dance on table tops and now I'm going to be flat out sober."

Just then, the boarding call for Meredith's flight came over the speaker. Meredith grabbed her suitcase and left, waving bye to Cristina.

"MEREDITH?" Cristina heard as she walked into Meredith's house.

Izzie and George came charging down the stairs only to see Cristina.

"Bambi!" Cristina said.

"Where is Meredith?" Izzie demanded.

Cristina shrugged, knowing that she had to hide Meredith's secret. Seattle Grace was notorious for gossip, and as Meredith's person, she refused to make Meredith's eventual return any harder than it had to be. At least she hoped Meredith would eventually return.

"I know you know." Alex walked in from the kitchen, holding a beer.

"Evil spawn, what are you talking about?" Cristina replied simply. "I'm going to bed. I have an early shift tomorrow. I want to get on Burke's service."

Thankfully, the trio left her alone. _This is already going to be hard._ Cristina thought as she climbed into Meredith's vacated bed.

"Would you like anything to drink?" The flight attendant asked Meredith.

Meredith craved tequila, but knew it would be a bad choice. "Water, please." She replied.

She reflected back on those minutes where she had chosen to keep the baby. She could have gotten an abortion, but something just seemed wrong. Maybe the fact that it would be the last piece of Derek she'd ever have. Regardless, she'd made her bed and now she'd have to lay in it.

She drifted slowly into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Within the next week, Meredith had comfortably settled into The Brigham Women's Hospital. Thankfully, she had found an apartment just across the hospital that wasn't expensive. There were no bars to tempt her nor were their stupid boy penises to further complicate her life. The Chief of Surgery, Miriam Gallagher, had been a close friend of Ellis' and therefore treated Meredith extremely kindly. She helped Meredith upon finding out about her pregnancy. She was rearranging Meredith's schedule to keep her ahead of the other interns to make up for the inevitable maternity leave.

Miriam had also been able to clear up some of the mysteries with Meredith's mom. "She was a good person, Meredith. You have to know that."

"A good person, but a terrible mother. I was a burden." Meredith said simply.

"She loved you. She didn't know how to show it, but she did. She regretted a lot of her choices concerning you, near the end." Miriam knew that Ellis had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

"What if I'm a terrible mother?" Meredith worried.

"I'll be there to help you. All the way." Miriam smiled. "Now, we have to go make our rounds. Also, you're scrubbing in later on a hernia."

Meredith relaxed. With all her OR hours, she'd be ready to take one of the biggest tests in her career in no time. She'd soon be a resident, maybe even before the baby was due to be delivered.

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"I'm scrubbing in on a hernia!" Meredith squealed through the phone.

"Lucky. I'm on scut. Stupid McAss." Cristina complained.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"He asked me where you were. I told him I didn't have a clue. He put me on freaking scut. There are days where being your person is hard." Cristina explained.

"I'm really sorry." Meredith apologized.

"Eh, whatever. I'm probably going to ask Burke to get on his service."

"Just convince his stupid boy penis." Meredith suggested, causing the two to laugh.

Just then, Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Burke came around the corner of where Cristina had been talking on the phone.

"Crap, gotta go. Tequila." Cristina said, using a code word she and Meredith had allotted for moments where someone could find out Meredith's whereabouts.

"Morning, Dr. Yang." Preston Burke smiled, handing her a coffee.

She beamed. "Dr. Burke."

Shepherd noticed the interaction. "Dr. Yang, a moment?"

Cristina sighed. Derek was like a puppy desperately searching for a bone he had buried.

"Look, I just need to know. Is Meredith okay?" He asked.

"Dr. Shepherd. I would appreciate if you didn't try to speak to me unless it's work related. Also, according to hospital gossip, I do believe that Meredith is no longer a person you should concern yourself with. Congratulations on getting back together with Addison." _You should be concerned because she's having your baby and why on earth did you pick the McCheater over Meredith._ Cristina thought as she turned to walk away.

"You're wrong. She's always going to be someone I'm concerned about." Derek said. Cristina turned back around and saw the pain on his face.

"I'm her person and she's my person. I'd never let her not be okay." Cristina finally offered. "She's fine. Doing much better, even."

Derek sighed, relieved. "Thank you."

"Don't." Cristina walked away before the conversation could go any further.

Just as she thought she'd found a quiet spot where she could call Meredith, George and Alex burst into the intern's locker room. "Bambi. Evil Spawn." She greeted them.

"Alex freaking gave me syphilis." George complained.

After such an exhausting morning, the news was enough to send Cristina into hysterical laughter. She only wished she could tell Meredith. Suddenly, inspiration hit her. She held out her phone's camera to take a video.

"George, mind repeating that?" Cristina asked sweetly.

"I slept with a stupid nurse. Olivia or Syphilis Girl. Alex slept with her too. I have syphilis." George wailed.

Cristina texted the video to Meredith, still laughing.

"Should have stayed pure for Meredith." Alex commented.

"Meredith is gone!" George exclaimed. "She's gone, okay? And the only people who know where she is won't tell." George looked pointedly at Cristina.

Cristina shrugged. "I don't know where she is."

"That's a load of bull." Alex said.

"She doesn't want to be found, okay?!" Cristina exclaimed, exasperated. "I would love to tell people. I don't like keeping all of these secrets. But they're not mine to tell, so just leave me alone. Meredith made me promise, so there you have it."

Cristina stalked out of the interns' locker room to find Burke. She either needed some mind-blowing distractions or to scrub into a cardio surgery.

BWHBWHBWHBWHBWHBWHBWHBWHBWHB WHBWHBWHBWH

"Would you like to close?" Miriam asked Meredith. The surgery had gone without a hitch, and been an amazing experience for Meredith.

"I would love to!" Meredith followed Miriam's instructions perfectly.

As they scrubbed out, Miriam said, "Oh, tomorrow, you're on Dr. Hayes' service. You're very talented in General Surgery so far, but I'd like you to try your hand at Neuro as well."

"That's wonderful." Meredith replied. As Miriam walked out, Meredith thought about Derek, the only thing that came to her mind when Neurosurgery was brought up. She wondered how he was doing, whether he thought about her. _Of course he doesn't, stupid girl. He chose Addison, and you were just his dirty mistress. His naive, dirty mistress. Now study up on neurosurgery so you don't look like a fool._ Meredith shook away any thoughts of Derek and went to the nurse's station to complete some charting.

"Hi." Meredith turned to see the voice. A girl who couldn't be much younger than her, with red-brown hair was staring at her. Since she wasn't wearing scrubs, Meredith assumed she was a med school student who was visiting the hospital or a patient's relative.

"Hi?" Meredith asked.

"I couldn't help but notice your name tag. Are you Meredith Grey?" She asked.

"Yes. Can I help you?" Meredith asked, still confused.

"Oh my god. I think you're my half-sister. Hi, I'm Lexie Grey. It's so nice to meet you." Lexie stuck out her hand.

Meredith dropped the pen she had been holding in shock. "I don't have any siblings. I'm an only child." Meredith finally said.

"Is your father's name Thatcher?" Lexie persisted.

"I don't have a father. Look, if we are somehow biologically related, then it's great to meet you. But I do not have any family. Are we understood?" Meredith was annoyed at this point.

"Oh. Okay. I'm really sorry." Lexie apologized.

Meredith felt bad. "I'm sorry. Thatcher Grey is my biological father. He poured my cereal every morning until I was five, when he left. He never contacted me after. I raised myself because my mother was obsessed with her career. You may be my half-sister, but you're a stranger to me." Meredith clarified.

"Can I get to know you at least? I'm going to start my internship here next year and it'd be nice to have a familiar face." Lexie grasped at the opportunity Meredith was offering.

"Sure." Meredith shrugged, figuring it was the easiest way to get Lexie off her back. Meredith's pager went off with 9-1-1. Thankful for the exit, she waved a quick goodbye before running off to the pit.

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"I haven't seen you all day." Addison said, sitting next to Derek.

Derek looked up from his phone. "Hi." He went back to staring at the screen. _Where are you, Meredith. Why is your number different. Why don't you call._ He was silently willing any form of communication from Meredith to appear on the screen.

"Derek." Addison's tone distracted him.

"Addison." He replied.

"Derek, if we're going to try to patch our marriage up, you need to try. I'm trying, but all I see is you being cold." Addison confessed.

"Well, we wouldn't be here if you hadn't slept with Mark." Derek snapped.

"When are you going to forgive me?" Addison demanded. "It was a mistake."

"Addison, I chose you. Over Meredith." Derek finally answered. "I really don't want that choice to be a mistake. But I need time. I can't just let it go. You were my wife. He was my best friend."

"I am your wife. Present tense." Addison replied, her heels clicking as she walked away.

Derek sighed.

Cristina was eating her lunch when Meredith finally called. "Finally!" Cristina exclaimed. "I have to talk to you."

"That video was so funny." Meredith giggled. "Okay, speak."

"McDreamy was asking about you. I might've told him that you're doing amazing. Also, Bambi is like in love with you and is terribly upset you left." Cristina said.

"My half-sister randomly confronted me." Meredith confessed.

"Wait, what? I thought you were an only child!" Cristina waited for an explanation.

"Apparently the absent father in my life was a very present father in my half-sister's life. Now she wants to get to know me. Ugh, I'm not bright and shiny like her. I honestly don't know if I can handle another conversation with her." Meredith replied.

"There's a solution for avoiding her! Come back to Seattle Grace." Cristina joked.

"After I finish my internship at least. Or maybe even my residency." Meredith replied.

"Wait, you're going to come back?" Cristina asked, hopeful.

"Yeah, when the baby's old enough to be put in daycare, I'll come back. Seattle's my home, and I'm sort of already homesick." Meredith confessed.

"Who's coming back?" Izzie asked, surprising Cristina. "Oh my god, you're talking to Meredith." She reached for Cristina's phone, but Cristina had already yelled, "Shit. Tequila." before hanging up.

"Cristina Yang, you were talking to Meredith." Izzie stated.

"Nope." Cristina replied.

"Is she coming back? For real?" Izzie asked.

"No. She's not. I misheard her." Cristina lied.

"Oh." Izzie's face dropped.

Cristina made a lame excuse and then walked away to find Burke. After all the crazy in the day, she needed a few moments to relax. And Burke seemed like the perfect person to relax with.

He was cracking his knuckles when she approached him at the nurses' station.

"Dr. Yang." He acknowledged her.

"Do you want to take a quick break?" She asked, knowing he'd understand what she was asking.

"No." He replied. "Cristina, I want an end to whatever this is."

"Oh." Cristina replied, walking away embarrassed. _Meredith you need to get back to Seattle as soon as possible because I swear I'm going crazy without my person. Plus if one more person asks where you are, I might just leave Seattle myself._


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay the letter sequence BWH means a switch from Seattle grace to brigham women's hospital. And SG = Seattle Grace and sg = another part of Seattle Grace.**

Cristina felt fine that morning when she woke up. Even amazing. It had been nearly two weeks since Burke ended their relationship, and she had gotten over it. Well, as much as someone can get over it. She was bitter about it, but craved being on his service, so she sucked it up and did everything she could to nab any interesting cardio cases. Surprisingly, she was even fine with having to waste a day on Bailey's service doing general surgery instead of scrubbing in on some amazing cardiothoracic surgery.

"Yang, you ready?" Bailey asked. Cristina nodded as she finished scrubbing in.

As she held the retractor for Bailey, something felt wrong. _What is the matter with you. Keep it together, Cristina. Just keep it together. You'll be fine. Just hold the stupid retractor and stay put._ She thought to herself.

Half an hour into the surgery, she collapsed. Before the world went black, she heard Bailey's worried voice.

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"Congratulations!" Miriam cheered as Meredith walked into the residents' locker room, having been paged. Meredith's confusion turned instantly into understanding as she saw an empty locker where Miriam was standing.

"I passed?" Meredith asked, needing confirmation.

Miriam nodded. "With flying colors! Meredith, I'm so happy for you. You're a resident now. Don't worry, you won't be getting any interns until the new ones come next year."

Meredith winced as the thought of having Lexie as her intern came unpleasantly into her mind. Miriam noticed the wince and asked, "Are you okay? Is the baby alright?"

Meredith nodded, excited to tell someone about her latest visit to the doctor concerning the baby. "The baby's fine! Um, it's still too early to determine the sex, and I'm not very far along, but everything seems good right now. I'll show you the ultrasound later!"

Miriam smiled. "So, are you ever going to tell me about the father?"

Meredith paused. "He's brilliant. One of the most skilled surgeons I can think of. And he's a wonderful person. Someone you have to get to know to love." Meredith rambled, stopping before she would start crying. _I can't believe I'm repeating McDreamy's words to describe him. I never should've gotten to know him. Then I wouldn't love him and I wouldn't care that he had a wife. _

Miriam hugged her. "I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two."

Meredith sniffled, recomposing herself. "It was just bad timing. Speaking of time, it's almost time to make our rounds."

"Time has a funny way of working everything out. Oh, you're on my service today. I know that you've been amazing at neuro with Dr. Hayes, but I felt like you should be reminded of how amazing general is!"

Meredith smiled. So far, she'd been spending the majority of her time on either Dr. Hayes' service or Miriam's service. She'd spent the necessary time in all the other specialties, but her calling was in either neuro or general. Though the choice was far off, she already knew that it would be almost impossible to choose when the time came.

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"Good morning." Addison half-sang as she passed Derek a cup of coffee.

He nodded. "Good morning." The night before, they'd finally had sex for the first time since reconciling. While Addison took it as a sign that she and Derek would work things out, Derek took it as proof that he was an idiot._ I let her go. I let the love of my life go. She disappeared, and I can't blame her. Because I chose 11 years over what should have been the rest of my life. I am an idiot. Whatever love existed in the marriage is so long gone. And the love I could've had, I threw away. Maybe I deserve this. I just hope Meredith is happy wherever she is. After everything she's been through, she deserves happiness and so much more. _He couldn't help but think as he sipped his coffee.

Before they could get on the elevator, Addison's pager went off. She said a quick goodbye and ran off.

"Derek. Have you seen Cristina?" Preston asked as soon as Derek stepped off the elevator.

"I think she's on Bailey's service today." Derek replied, grabbing his patients' charts from the nurse.

"Well, she should be out of surgery. The OR board says Webber's supposed to be operating now but he said he postponed his surgery until tomorrow." Preston sounded anxious.

Derek turned. "Maybe the surgery had complications?"

"Bailey said the surgery went without a hitch. Then she had to rush back to the OR." Preston replied.

"Did you try paging her?" Derek suggested.

"No answer." Both were silent. "You don't think she pulled a Meredith, do you?" Preston finally asked, hesitant.

"Pulled a Meredith?" Derek asked, confused.

"Sorry. It's the term all the nurses have been using. I guess it caught on. Do you think she also just up and disappeared? Like Meredith did, after you picked Addison." Preston explained.

Derek shook his head. "She didn't run. She doesn't have a reason."

Preston sighed. "A couple weeks ago, I ended this relationship we've been having. And she's seemed fine, since. Fine, but distant. And I couldn't help but think she was just going to disappear. And I haven't been able to tell her how I feel because she manages to avoid me when she's not on my service."

Derek knew that whatever rivalry between Preston and him had dissipated. Preston's confiding in him was proof of that. Derek didn't mind as he could use a friend in Seattle now that there was virtually nothing keeping him in Seattle except hope that Meredith would return.

"I just don't think she would run." Derek said emphatically. Preston sighed in relief.

Both of their pagers went off simultaneously. 9-1-1. Derek and Preston ran towards the pit, where train crash victims were arriving.

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Cristina opened her eyes slowly. She felt so groggy. The first thing she heard was a stable beeping. The kind of beeping that belonged in a patient's room. She sat up in bed so suddenly her head rushed. Looking around, she realized that she was in a patient's room. And she was the patient. _Crap. What happened. Think, Cristina. _But she failed to think of any reasons.

Addison walked in. "I'm glad to see that you're awake."

Cristina managed to ask, "What happened?" in a hoarse voice. Addison passed her a cup of water and sat next to the bed.

"You passed out in the OR. You were pregnant, and there were complications so I had to remove your fallopian tube. There's no more baby." Addison answered.

Cristina was shocked. She had been pregnant? With Burke's baby? Well, she didn't really mind that there was no more baby anymore. Then she started laughing.

Addison stared. "Are you okay?"

Cristina nodded. "It's just so funny_._"

Addison scoffed. "Glad to see you're still normal, Yang. Though I don't see the humor."

Maybe it was the fact that she was still feeling the effects of the anesthesia, or maybe it was the fact that she was tired of keeping everything to herself. But she blurted out, "It's funny because Meredith would die if she found out." _Those who are each others' person get pregnant together. _Cristina thought, which led to a whole new round of giggles.

Addison paused. This was the first mention of Meredith she'd heard since the talk of Meredith's whereabouts had died down. "Oh."

Cristina stopped laughing as she realized what she might have given away. _Crap, what does McCheating-Wife think? Oh no, please don't tell anyone. Meredith is finally settling down. Don't ruin this for her. _

Addison finally asked, "She's not coming back, is she?"

Cristina shook her head. "We just keep in touch. But she's happy where she is."

Addison relaxed. There would be nothing in her way of happily reuniting with Derek. Cristina took it as a sign that Addison had no clue that Meredith was pregnant. Addison ticked off a box on Cristina's chart and waved goodbye as she left to check on another patient.

Cristina waited until Addison was out of sight before pulling out her phone and calling Meredith, leaving her a long message about everything that had happened.

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"So, I'm so sorry I almost blew your secret. But I promise it won't happen again." Meredith had checked her voicemail and heard Cristina's confession.

Meredith didn't hesitate before calling Cristina, who picked up on the first ring. "Cristina, you didn't have to apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm really sorry if trying to keep my secret is like a lot of trouble. It means so much to me that you even helped."

"We don't have to have the sappy talk." Cristina replied, but Meredith could hear the smile in her voice.

"So, how are you feeling?" Meredith asked, concerned.

"I'm okay. I didn't even know I was pregnant." Cristina confessed. "But it's good. Because while I respect your choice to keep your baby, I don't want to raise one of my own. Plus, Burke ended our little fling."

"I guess now is a bad time to admit I was going to ask you to be the baby's godmother?" Meredith asked.

"Are you kidding me? I'd love to be the baby's godmother!" Cristina replied. "I can't wait to see McBaby."

"Oh yeah. I'm a resident now." Meredith said.

"WHAT?! Meredith, I am so jealous. I am so over being an intern." Cristina exclaimed.

"When the new interns join, my half-sister is going to be in that group." Meredith groaned.

"So tell me all about your cool surgeries now that you're a resident. Have you scrubbed in on any good ones?" Cristina asked.

Meredith laughed. "I've been in on almost every surgery that Miriam or Dr. Hayes' have. I got to remove a hernia all by myself and assisted with a liver transplant. I got to clip an aneurysm by myself and assisted on a brain tumor removal. It's been so awesome and amazing. Apparently I show incredible talent at both. I know that picking a specialty is so far away, but I just don't know how I'll choose. Oh my god, I totally forgot to tell you about the super cool piggy-back surgery I scrubbed in on while I was on cardio last week. I swear, this hospital rocks. I mean, with all the hours I'm clocking and all the experience I have, Miriam thinks I'll be able to take the Boards a year earlier."

"You scrubbed in on a piggy-back surgery? NO FAIR. YOU KNOW CARDIO IS MY THING. At least I won't have to worry about specializing. I already know what I want. Well when you come back an attending you should totally let me scrub in on everything to get my hours if I'm still a lowly resident." Cristina replied. "Wait hold on. Burke's about to come through the door."

"Oh, uh do you need to hang up?" Meredith asked.

"No. Just don't speak. I'm too lazy to call you back and I have no idea what he wants to talk about so I think having my person will help with whatever is going to happen." Cristina replied.

Before Meredith could say anything, she heard Burke's voice through the phone.

"Cristina, you didn't tell me you were pregnant." He said.

"I didn't know I was." Cristina replied. Meredith could hear Cristina easier than Burke due to where the phone was.

"Cristina, I'm sorry." Burke apologized.

"For what?" Cristina sounded vaguely annoyed.

"I shouldn't have called quits. I was really worried about you earlier. I thought you might've left." Burke confessed.

"Oh. Where would I have gone?" Cristina asked.

"You might've joined Meredith wherever she is." Burke offered.

"Well, I didn't leave."

"I know. Look, can we just turn over a new leaf? I'd love to take you out on a date." Burke finally blurted out.

Cristina was silent. "Okay." She finally said.

Meredith heard nothing but silence for quite a time. She wondered if Cristina had hung up.

"Okay, so I'll see you later." Burke's voice reappeared.

"Yeah." Cristina replied.

"Oh. Um, this is none of my business but Shepherd's my friend so I guess it wouldn't hurt. He misses Meredith. A lot. He told me when we were in the OR earlier." Burke added.

The information was enough to make Meredith want to cry. Stupid stupid McDreamy. He shouldn't miss her. He picked Addison. Meredith couldn't have made it clearer with her final sentences. "Pick me, choose me, love me." He didn't do any of the three. So why should he miss her? It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Not when every fiber of her being wanted to be next to him. Wanted to tell him that she was pregnant with his child.

Finally Cristina came back onto the phone. "Mer?"

"Cristina, why did Burke have to say that? I was just starting to feel whole and healed." Meredith asked, her voice breaking.

"Because we have terrible taste in guys." Cristina joked. Meredith laughed.

"I'm pathetic. I miss him so much. I miss a man who knocked me up when I was nothing but his dirty mistress. He picked his wife, who is probably freaking great." Meredith confessed.

"And I'm going to go on a legitimate date. I've never done that before." Cristina replied.

The two cracked up at their sad love lives.

"I have to go. Surgery is calling my name." Meredith said.

"Go save a life." Cristina replied.

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"Hi." Addison greeted Derek as she stepped into the elevator.

"Hi." He faked a smile.

"Last night was fun." She started.

"No, it wasn't." Derek replied. "Addie, we have to stop fooling ourselves. It's not working out. It's not going to work out. I don't want to lose 11 years of my life, but I don't want to lose what could be my forever."

"Meredith?" Addison asked.

"She's gone. I lost her. And I don't think I'll ever find another, but in case I do, I don't want to make the same mistake. We owe it to ourselves to give each other a chance at true happiness. If we had truly been in love, I would never have been distant, and you wouldn't have cheated. We were young when we married. And I think we tried to stay together out of respect for each other, but it was never going to work. There was no passion. Maybe there was in the beginning, but it fizzled. Addison, I love you but I'm not in love with you." Derek answered.

Addison was silent. "I want to argue and say that you're wrong, but I know you're right. And it's hard for me to do that, because I always wanted to be the girl who did everything right. Marry young, stay together, be in love forever. But you're right, Derek. I love you but I'm not in love with you. I guess we should contact our divorce lawyers." She finally broke the silence.

"I'm glad we're finally agreeing on something. It's been awhile since we've done that." Derek said.

Addison smiled. "I'll stay at the Archfield until I decide what I want to do next. Derek, you said that we owe it to ourselves to give each other a chance at true happiness. You belong with Meredith. Whether you'll admit it or not, she's the love of your life. There's never going to be another. Fight for her. Don't let her go. Not again. If she comes back, you have to tell her how you feel."

"She's not coming back." Derek looked at the ground.

"She'll come back. I just know it." Addison insisted before walking away as the elevator opened.

For the first time in weeks, Derek felt hope.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors note: I am so sorry this chapter has taken so long to arrive. I struggled to find an acceptable way to connect the time gap since I really wanted everyone to be back at SG already and I didn't want fillers for like 10 chapters. Okay, so I just kinda fast forwarded to six months after the last update. I'm kinda curious, does anyone like this story? I haven't gotten any reviews (good or bad) so I was just wondering. Any opinion would help!**

A lot can happen in six months. Everyone had gone through a tremendous amount in the last six months. And now Burke and Cristina were getting married.

Meredith had lost the baby. Her stupid hostile uterus had taken the only thing she had. Walking the halls of what used to be her haven she escaped to were now the walls of the place her child had died. Her son had died in the halls of Brigham Women's Hospital. The grief didn't go away, no matter how many shots of tequila she downed. The only way she kept on going was by throwing herself into surgery. The realization allowed her to forgive her mother for all the broken promises. Her mother had been grieving over Richard. Meredith accepted that she was inevitably going to end up exactly like Ellis, cold and alone with Alzheimers. After all, she had lost Derek and then Christopher. From the moment she had found out she was having Derek's son, she wanted to name him directly after him. Christopher Derek Grey would have been his name, had her hostile uterus not interfered. Miriam and Cristina were the only people she had talked to after the miscarriage. Meredith had clocked an outrageous number of hours in the OR, enough to surpass some of the 4th year residents even though she was only a 2nd year.

Derek had finalized his divorce with Addison. Shortly after, she left for California to work at her friend's private practice. Derek had ceaselessly bothered Cristina, looking for details about Meredith, but Cristina refused to tell him anything. Derek reminisced about Meredith on his free nights, sipping scotch at Joe's bar, hoping Meredith would just magically appear. The nurses never stopped flirting with him after the divorce, and Derek was sick of their attention. He was almost thankful when Mark Sloan arrived in Seattle. Derek had slowly forgiven him, and it was nice to have a friend in Seattle. Mark Sloan had also taken away some of the unwanted attention from the nurses.

George had redeemed himself after the disastrous 007 incident. Stuck in an elevator with Karev and a patient that needed heart surgery ASAP, he had performed his first solo surgery after Alex choked with the assistance of Burke. George was still pining over Meredith, despite the comments his friends made over his one-sided feelings.

Izzie had gone through a crisis. She had fallen in love with a patient, Denny Duquette. He had charmed his way into her heart, and when she went through extreme measures to ensure he'd get a heart, she'd risked her entire career. In the end, it had gone to waste because he died, leaving Izzie heartbroken with a ridiculous amount of money. Alex had been there for her though, and that meant a lot to her.

Cristina had allowed Burke to take her on dates. Although, after the first awkward one in a restaurant that had successfully been ended by a medical emergency, their dates mostly consisted of dinners and movies in the apartment they shared. They worked flawlessly as a team in the OR, and she had scrubbed in on most of his surgeries, even having the chance to practice her running whipstitch. When he proposed, Cristina had been shocked speechless, but eventually accepted, mostly out of fear of losing him. Meredith had been her rock throughout the entire ordeal, promising to be her maid of honor.

It was the week of the wedding. Meredith had flown in, deciding to finally use some of her vacation days. It was a nice way to get away from the hospital where her son died. Miriam had told her to take as much time as she needed, since it wasn't like she needed to spend more time on call or in the OR.

At the airport, the usually composed friends had tears in their eyes when they saw each other. Both needed each other more than ever. Cristina had faked sick to avoid telling anyone she was going to the airport to pick Meredith up. Meredith was staying in Cristina's old apartment for the week since her house was still occupied by George, Alex, and Izzie.

"I can't get married but I can't lose Burke." Cristina groaned as she chugged some tequila. Burke had the overnight shift, so she had crashed with Meredith. The two were drinking a bottle of tequila and catching up.

"I can't face McDreamy and not cry about Christopher." Meredith sobbed.

"Mer, I'm going to be a wife." Cristina giggled hysterically.

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." Meredith joked, wiping her tears away. She hated how she was even more hormonal than when she was actually pregnant.

"Don't even start. The only kid I would've put up with is your McSpawn because you're my person." Cristina passed the bottle to Meredith.

"I think I might transfer back to Seattle." Meredith announced abruptly.

"What?" Cristina asked, the alcohol interfering with her comprehension.

"I can't stay in Boston. All I see is the place my son died." Meredith whispered.

"What about seeing McDreamy?" Cristina asked.

"I don't know." Meredith answered.

"I think I might be a runaway bride." Cristina added.

Meredith burst out laughing. "I'll be your accomplice. I'm pretty good at running."

"His mother's coming. My mother's coming. It's going to be a disaster."

"Maybe not." Meredith attempted to comfort Cristina.

"I hope not." Cristina agreed. The two put the bottle down and got ready for bed.

The next day, Cristina had to work and Meredith decided to visit her mother. With all the events of the past six months, Meredith felt like she could handle her mother.

"Hi, Mom." Meredith said, sitting down next to her mother, who was sipping coffee.

"Meredith? It's been a while since I've seen you. Richard said you were in Boston. I thought we agreed you'd move out here with me. I'm lucid today." Ellis said.

Meredith was shocked to find out that Webber had been visiting her mother. Then again, it was somewhat comforting to know that her mother hadn't been alone in the time that Meredith had been gone.

"Well, say something." Ellis demanded, bringing Meredith back to reality.

"I transferred to work with Miriam. It was beneficial. I clocked more hours, got more surgeries, and she taught me a lot." Meredith said. Before her mother could say anything, Meredith started rambling. "I understand you now. The way you treated me. You were grieving. I ruined your life. I trapped you in your marriage with dad, and then I ruined your relationship with Dr. Webber. You were grieving, and I reminded you everyday of what you lost. You threw yourself into your work to avoid feeling the full extent of your grief, and I get it. The grief sucks." Meredith had started to cry.

Ellis sighed, not denying any of it. The silence following wasn't the uncomfortable kind that Meredith was used to when being around her mother, but rather a calm silence.

"Ellis? Meredith?" Both turned to see Richard Webber.

"Richard!" It was impossible to not notice how Ellis beamed.

"I'm going to go." Meredith excused herself. Where was she supposed to go now? Cristina was probably in surgery and she had no one else here.

"Wait, Meredith. Are you back?" Richard asked.

Meredith paused. "I don't know. Could you do me a favor and not tell anyone I'm here?" She asked hesitantly, thinking of Derek.

Richard nodded. "Of course."

Meredith thought about visiting the hospital, but knew she couldn't handle hearing the nurses gossip. She hated how fragile she was. Yes, she lost her son, but shouldn't she be able to stop avoiding her problems and face them? She thought of McDreamy, and a shocking realization hit her. She couldn't remember their last kiss. She walked around as she thought furiously, trying to remember. She could remember their first kiss, a lot of kisses, but not the last one. It was incredibly frustrating.

She saw a lot of commotion across the street around the corner and started running. There was a crowd gathered around a woman who had been crushed under a car.

"We need a doctor!" A man screamed. He was holding the woman's hand, and Meredith assumed he was her boyfriend or husband. She had reached the crowd.

"I'm a doctor. Move aside." She commanded, assessing the situation. "Did someone call 9-1-1?"

"They're on the way." A voice answered from the crowd.

She did a quick check of the woman's vitals, which seemed to be okay. "Hi, I'm Dr. Grey. I need you to stay calm, okay?" The woman nodded.

"Can you tell me what you feel?" Meredith asked.

"I can't feel anything past my hips." The woman answered, panicking.

"Okay. Listen, when the ambulance comes, they're going to take the car off of you, we'll get you on a stretcher, and you'll be taken to the hospital. They'll need to do a CT to determine where the damage is, and you'll probably need surgery to repair any internal bleeding. Your organs could be in bad shape from the crush, but since you're still stable, I'm very hopeful. And the sooner they get here, the more likely the nerves that are damaged can be salvaged. Okay? But for right now, I need you to keep breathing and stay calm. Keep talking to me so I know that you're conscious." Meredith calmly informed her.

"My name's Jennifer. My friends call me Jenny, and this is my husband Rob. I bent down to tie my shoelaces and the car slammed into me. The driver had been swerving to avoid a crash and didn't see me and I ended up under the car. My husband found me. Oh god, I can't die. I'm only 28. I haven't even lived half of my life." She rambled.

Thankfully, the ambulance arrived. Where was the stupid fire department? Wasn't it their job to lift the car? Meredith looked around.

The paramedic ran up with a stretcher. "There's a massive fire so they couldn't send any men. It's just us."

Meredith stood up. "I need men. We're going to have to lift the car and move her out by ourselves. We won't have a lot of time so we need to move fast."

Within seconds, men from the crowd had gotten into position to lift the car. Meredith and the paramedic were in position to slide Jenny onto the stretcher.

"On my count. Three, two, lift!" Meredith yelled.

The plan went without a flaw. Meredith thanked the men before joining the paramedic and Rob in the ambulance.

En route, Jenny's condition worsened. Meredith knew that there was no time for a CT, that she'd need to go into surgery immediately. Meredith lifted Jenny's shirt to examine the extent of the internal bleeding. It looked like there would be hours of surgery.

The doors opened and the paramedics were pulling the stretcher out. Meredith froze. She was outside Seattle Grace Hospital. "Oh crap." She muttered under her breath. However, she kept her cool.

She ran after the paramedics, who were explaining the case. "I need scrubs, stat. And we need to move her into an ER." She pulled her hair into a loose ponytail.

"Mer?"

"Oh thank god, Cristina. Scrub in with me." Meredith grabbed the scrubs and ran to change in the bathroom.

"OR 5!" Cristina called.

Meredith scrubbed in three minutes later to see just Cristina waiting. "Where's Bailey? General is her thing." Meredith asked. Richard was probably still busy with Ellis.

"She's in surgery. It's just you and me." Cristina answered. Meredith noted a tinge of nervousness in Cristina's voice.

"That's no good. We need more hands damn it!" Meredith cursed. "Scalpel." Jenny was already under. "Page every general surgeon."

"On it." A nurse replied. "Thank you!" Meredith added, realizing that she was probably acting incredibly rude.

The damage was just as bad as Meredith had expected. Luckily, she had Cristina assisting her. She had seen a couple cases as bad if not worse back in Boston, and Meredith knew she could do this, despite not having enough hands.

"There's no damage to the liver or kidneys, thank god." Meredith thanked the lucky stars. She hadn't noticed the crowd gathering in the gallery to see the mysterious surgeon. Cristina had, but kept quiet.

"Pack here." Meredith motioned, as she fixed yet another bleed on the large intestine. Her sutures were flawless, and she was working extremely efficiently.

"Stats?" Meredith asked, not looking away from where she was working.

"They're good." Cristina answered, amazed at Meredith's skill. No one would ever guess that it was just a first year. Meredith acted as if she'd had years of experience.

A few hours later, Meredith said, "We have to remove the clamps now. We need to test to see if the sutures are doing their job and that we haven't missed any bleeds." She repeated the standard lesson.

Thankfully, there were no problems after the clamps were removed. "Okay, we're closing up now." Meredith said.

As they scrubbed out, Cristina gushed, "Oh my god, Mer. That was incredible."

Meredith sighed, slumping. "Oh my god that was nerve wracking. I've never done a solo surgery that intense."

The two walked out, where Meredith grabbed the chart and started working on it.

"Congratulations. That was wonderful work." Meredith whipped around to see Miranda Bailey.

"Meredith? That was you in there?" Bailey spluttered. Bailey had expected to see a surgeon from a different hospital in Seattle, not her intern that had just vanished several months ago.

"Cristina said you were in surgery. No one else in general answered the page. She didn't have much time. Any later and she would've died from internal bleeding. She's still not out of the woods. I figured the best bet was to just go into surgery. I've spent a lot of time in the OR performing general surgery so I knew I could handle it." Meredith rambled, shocked to see Bailey, much less receive a compliment from the Nazi. "Honestly, I didn't even realize people were in the gallery."

Miranda chuckled. "Meredith, it was a full house. Plus standers. I have a patient to check on, but it was nice to see you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Meredith covered her face.

"You kicked ass in there. You should be happy people saw you." Cristina shrugged. "Besides, only Bailey knows that it was you."

"I thought you would've been in a cardio surgery." Meredith confessed.

"I was supposed to be on Burke's service, but he told me that this week was all about me and that I should be helping with the last minute details of the wedding. So I just walked around looking for surgeries, and when we were called about an incoming trauma, I called it. Lucky for you." Cristina admitted.

Derek and Mark walked around the corner, chatting about fishing when Derek paused. He'd recognize her hair anywhere. She was laughing at something while charting at the nurse's station. She was dressed in the light blue scrubs that the residents wore.

"Derek?" Mark asked, confused, before realization set in. "That's Meredith, isn't it?"

"She's back." Derek whispered. As if Meredith could sense his presence, she turned and saw his piercing gaze.

"McDreamy has a friend?" She turned back and asked Cristina.

"McSteamy." Cristina shrugged. "McDreamy is still staring at you."

"Meredith?" Meredith loved the way his voice sounded. He had approached the nurse's station.

She turned to face him. "Hi." She squeaked.

He ran a hand through his hair. _His hair, oh god. It's him. I want to kiss him so bad. Ugh stop Meredith. Get a control of yourself. You're not the little slutty intern anymore. You are a kickass resident. You're not going to feel anything as bad as the pain of losing this child ever. You cannot let him break your heart again._

"I.." Derek struggled to find the words.

"Um, I need a neuro consult. Well I mean, I'm positive she has nerve damage, but I'm not sure how severe it is." Meredith gave him an out. "I just operated on her, so I won't need it for a few hours, but yeah. Here's her chart."

"Meredith, come on. Final dress fittings." Cristina called. Meredith was thankful for her person.

"It was really nice seeing you." Meredith added, before running after Cristina.

"I wasn't kidding. I have my final dress fitting and so do you." Cristina said, as they changed back into street clothes.

Meanwhile in the basement where the interns hung out, George, Alex, and Izzie were still in awe over the mysterious surgeon.

"I mean, who was she?" Izzie asked. "That was incredible. How quickly she worked, and she didn't have anyone except Cristina helping her."

"She's got my respect." Alex added.

"And the entire general surgery department just watched her. Like Bailey could've gone down there but she just stayed in the gallery." George said.

"She definitely had it handled." Izzie sighed. "I hope that's us one day."

"That brings up the question. Who is she?" Alex asked.


	5. Chapter 5

By Friday, the excitement over the mysterious surgeon and her impeccable work had settled. Everyone had found out that it was Meredith Grey, and that news had shocked most of the staff. Meredith had spent the rest of the week hiding in Cristina's old apartment, keeping busy by talking to Miriam, who would assist in moving all of her stuff and visiting her mother, though her mother was never lucid after the first day. Miriam had already cleared it with Webber, so Meredith could come back to Seattle Grace whenever she was ready.

On Thursday, the mothers had arrived, causing Cristina to be a nervous wreck. Meredith had met both mothers and was intimidated by both mothers. Meredith had followed Cristina through every step, including the salon where Cristina's eyebrows had been waxed off entirely.

"I don't have eyebrows. This wedding is a production. My dress suffocates me. I have to wear a choker that literally chokes me." Cristina was freaking out to Meredith the night Thursday night. "And I haven't been in the OR since your surgery, which was so cool but I need to be in the OR and have a surgery."

"Let's dance it out." Meredith suggested.

Cristina nodded.

Friday was the day of the wedding. Cristina stood outside the doors where Burke would be waiting at the end. Meredith was doing everything she could to help her person keep it together, but Cristina seemed to be falling apart at the seams. Callie, the other bridesmaid, was busy monitoring the room.

"Uh, guys? Everyone's seated. I think it's about to start soon." Callie said, trying not to freak Cristina out.

Cristina looked at Meredith, silently begging for help.

"Can I interrupt?" All three girls turned to see Burke standing there.

"I'm going to go wait outside." Callie said. Meredith stayed where she was.

"Cristina, this wedding. It's not what you want. It's not who you are. I'm sorry I didn't realize who you were. Now that I do, I just believe that we wouldn't work. And I don't want to put you through it. I think it's best if we call it off. You can have the honeymoon. I'll be gone when you get back." Burke said quietly, before walking away.

Cristina was shocked. _What the hell. Mama Burke tore my eyebrows off, shoved me in this ridiculous dress, gave me a choker that could kill someone, and you're walking out? I haven't been in the OR for days, and this is what I get for all the freaking trouble I went through? A goodbye? I'm not talking to the people waiting in there for a wedding. I can't. Then again, fine. I'll enjoy the freaking honeymoon without you, jackass._

"Cristina, I got this." Meredith said.

Meredith opened the doors and made a motion with her hands before the orchestra would start playing the march. She walked quickly down the aisle, pretending no one could see her and stood at the altar, facing the pews. Derek, who had been standing in the best man's place, was surprised to see her. He hadn't seen her since the day she'd performed the surgery.

"I'm so sorry to have to inform you all, but there will be no wedding. The groom and the bride had a discussion and the wedding is cancelled. There are refreshments waiting, so feel free to enjoy those." Meredith said quickly, then ran back to the room Cristina had gotten ready in.

Cristina was peeling her dress off, crying. Meredith handed her normal clothes, and unpinned her hair.

"Want to go on a honeymoon?" Cristina asked, laughing through her tears.

"Let's do it." Meredith said.

A week later, the girls were back. A week on a sunny beach at an island in the Caribbean had done wonders for both. Cristina was as over Burke as she was ever going to get and she was readier than ever to be back in the OR. Meredith had done a lot of thinking and had decided to join grief counseling. Plus, she was getting sick of the fruity drinks that didn't have enough alcohol in them. Meredith was moving back into her old house while Cristina stayed in her apartment.

"Meredith!" Alex, Izzie, and George all exclaimed as she entered the house, carrying her suitcase.

"Hey guys. The house is okay, right?" Meredith asked.

"The house is fine. Where have you been?" Izzie asked. Meredith set her suit case down and hugged Izzie.

"I transferred, then came for the wedding, and now I'm back. I am so sorry for your loss, Izzie. I wish I had been here to help." Meredith answered.

"George has something to tell you." Alex offered.

"DO NOT!" George shouted.

Meredith lifted an eyebrow. "It's fine if you do."

"Oh nothing, just that he's still in love with you." Izzie finally offered.

"IZZIE!" George wailed.

"I have no idea how to say this without being harsh. I'm really sorry, but I don't feel the same." Meredith struggled to find the right words. "I'll be in my room, unpacking."

She got in bed, but couldn't fall asleep. _This stupid bed makes me think about how we used to sleep. How he had to sneak out to avoid my roommates finding out. And I have to see him tomorrow. And he'll probably try to McDreamy me. Ugh. _

When her alarm finally went off, she quickly got ready, grabbed her coffee, and left. Webber had assigned her a resident's locker instead of her old intern's locker. After she got changed, she went looking for cases. She needed to work before she started thinking about things she was trying to avoid.

"Meredith Grey. It's a shame I can't boss you around anymore since you're no longer my intern." Bailey said, but she was smiling. It was good to see Meredith back, especially with her abilities.

Meredith laughed. "Well, you could try. But I don't have to listen anymore."

Cristina, Alex, Izzie, and George arrived. "Time for rounds." Bailey sighed. "You need one of them on your service?" Before Meredith could answer, Bailey was already assigning them places. "Yang, you're with Grey. Karev, you're with Fields. O'Malley, Shepherd. Stevens, let's go."

Meredith smiled as Cristina walked over. "So, I can't promise a cardio surgery but I can promise you we'll get a surgery."

"Really?" Cristina was excited.

"Yeah. Incoming trauma. It's five minutes out. Let's get down there." Meredith said. They were already waiting when the ambulance arrived.

"26 year old female, 8 months pregnant. Lost consciousness en route. Car crash, went flying out the windshield." The paramedic said.

Meredith checked the patient's vitals, which weren't good. She opened the patient's eyes and saw that the pupils were different in size. "She's got serious brain injury."

"Call an OR. We'll be there right away."

As the patient was being put under, Meredith and Cristina scrubbed in. Meredith had paged neonatal and neuro, but Dr. Shepherd was in the middle of clipping an aneurysm and Dr. Nelson wasn't on shift. Meredith was going to have to perform the craniotomy herself.

"Where's neonatal?" Meredith asked as the nurse put her headlamp on.

"They'll be here in a minute." The nurse answered.

"Good, someone needs to monitor the baby. We have to start immediately, if we want either to make it through." Meredith said. She needed both to make it through.

Meredith had been right about the brain injury.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Fields. I'll be your neonatal specialist." Meredith didn't even look up from the spot she was extracting a glass fragment from. "The baby's not in distress, thankfully. It seems that she'll make it through without needing an emergency C-section. We'll stay and monitor the baby while you work."

Derek had finished clipping his aneurysm as Meredith was extracting glass. He saw her working and decided that scrubbing in would be a waste of time, as she seemed to be finishing up. He walked to the gallery and watched her.

"That's the last piece of glass." Meredith said to Cristina. "The bleeding has been taken care of. What's the next step?"

"Close." Cristina replied.

Meredith was about to voice agreement when she noticed something. "Dr. Yang, do you see that?" She motioned.

Cristina gasped. "She has a tumor."

"Yes." Meredith affirmed.

Up in the gallery, Derek leaned forward, wondering how Meredith would proceed. He wanted to see how far she'd come.

"Do we take it out?" Cristina asked.

"No. We can't." Meredith answered. Derek sighed.

"Why not?" Cristina asked. The tumor was right there.

"If I were to do that, our patient could lose the ability to speak. We need scans to determine the best angle to take it out." Meredith answered. "We're closing."

Derek couldn't help but feel proud of Meredith. She was doing an incredible job in neurosurgery. He decided to wait for her outside the scrub room.

"Hi." He said, as she walked out.

"You scared me." She turned, looking shaken.

"I'm sorry." Derek tried to hold back his smile.

She shook her head. "It's okay."

"So, you were amazing in there."

"Thank you." Meredith finally let herself look him in the eyes. God, those blue eyes were so easy to get lost in. And his hair. Oh gosh, that hair was incredible.

"Meredith, we need to talk." Derek finally said. "About us."

Meredith froze. How could she tell him everything without him hating her? "Derek, you'll walk away again if we talk." She finally mumbled.

He looked confused. She grabbed his arm and dragged him into an on-call room. He wondered if it was for sex, but knew that it was probably just for privacy. She sat down on one of the beds and started talking.

"I begged you, and you walked away. I asked you to pick me, choose me, love me, and you did none of the three. You chose, you picked, and you probably loved her. I found out that I was pregnant, and I didn't want to make things harder, so I walked away too. And it was really good until I lost the baby. I lost our baby." Meredith sobbed.

Derek was stunned. A baby? Meredith had left because she was pregnant? "I was scared." He confessed. "So I chose Addison. But I divorced her because 11 years meant nothing to me if I could have forever with you. Would you have told me about the baby, though? Would you have come back?"

"I was planning to come back as soon as the baby was old enough to travel. I had this little book that I was making, you know with pictures from the ultrasounds, and I had already named him. I was going to tell you after he was born since I didn't want to jinx it. But I have a stupid hostile uterus so it doesn't matter." Meredith answered.

Derek sat on the bed. "He?"

Meredith sniffled and laughed sadly. "Yeah, I wanted to know. And I wanted to name him after you, so his name would have been Christopher Derek. Believe it or not, I still loved you after you walked away."

"What about now?" Derek asked.

Meredith looked at him. "What?"

"Do you still love me now?" Derek clarified.

"Yeah." Meredith answered.

"Good, because you're the love of my life." Derek said, kissing her. All Meredith could think was how much she had missed his kisses. They were the kind that seared in the best way.

"So you don't hate me?" Meredith asked when they pulled away for air. "Over the baby?"

"I don't." Derek answered.

"Make up sex later?" Meredith asked. "I get off at 9."

Derek grinned. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. I get off at 9 too."

Somehow, Meredith knew things would be alright. She and Derek had gotten through the worst of it, and she could handle whatever was coming next.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Sorry this chapter is really short, I just wanted to make sure I could update today! **

"You're awake." Meredith handed her car crash patient from earlier that day some ice chips. She'd spent most of the day monitoring her patient, while Cristina tried to find anything cardio related. Unfortunately, Webber was in the middle of finding a new head of cardio, so there was a lack of interesting cardio surgeries.

"The baby?" Her patient whispered.

Meredith smiled. "Your baby is just fine. There wasn't even a need to do an emergency C-section. Your due date should be the same."

"Am I going to be okay?" Her patient asked. "Where's my family?"

Meredith decided to answer the easier question first. "They were here earlier. They stayed until visiting hours ended. Your surgery went well, but we found a tumor. We'd like to use some tests to scan the best plan to approach it before we remove it."

Her patient groaned. "Great. Just my luck."

Meredith glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost nine. Her heart quickened in excitement. "I know it's a lot to handle, but it'll be okay. Feel free to ask the nurses for anything you need. I'll be back in the morning to check on you."

Meredith almost sprinted to her locker, where she changed and made her way down to the lobby. Derek was sitting in a chair, his back to her. She snuck up behind him and covered his eyes with her hands.

"Surprise." She said in a sing-song tone.

"You ready to go?" Derek asked, standing up.

She nodded. They held hands as they made their way to his car. He opened the door for her, which made Meredith's already huge grin even bigger.

As he started the car, the radio turned on. She recognized the song as one of his favorites, by The Clash. He started to sing along, which made Meredith laugh. Derek was amazing at many things, but singing was not one of his strong points.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked.

"Your singing." She smirked.

"Oh come on. I'm not that bad." He laughed.

"You're as bad at singing as I am at cooking." Meredith replied.

"Did you have dinner?" Derek asked.

"Not yet."

"I'll make pancakes when we get to the trailer." Derek replied. Meredith loved his pancakes. They were the best pancakes she'd ever had.

"Yay! I would hate to have to eat muesli." Meredith teased.

"Hey, that stuff is healthy!"

By then, they had gotten on the ferry. "You were always a health nut. I missed being able to ride the ferry." Meredith admitted.

"That was one of the first things we shared. We both have things for ferry boats." Derek commented.

Meredith leaned over to kiss his cheek, earning a huge smile from Derek.

"Just out of curiosity, did you date anyone while you were away?" Derek asked. Meredith sensed some insecurity behind his question.

"After I lost the baby, Miriam tried to help me with the grieving. She set me up on a few dates, but none of them ever went past dinner. I might have let them rack up a huge bill on drinks before telling them there was no chance they were getting laid or a second date." Meredith laughed. Her drinking habit had been quite expensive. "Mostly, I just threw myself into surgery. I spent so much time on both neuro and general that I surpassed some of the higher year residents. Did you date anyone after the divorce?"

Derek shook his head. "God no. Speaking of the divorce, Addison gave me good parting advice."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Derek nodded. "She told me not to let you go again if you came back."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere." Meredith leaned in to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss. A kiss that said the first of many. It wasn't rushed; it was a kiss that made the world feel like it was frozen for just a second to preserve the perfection of the kiss.

When they arrived at the trailer, Derek said, "Make yourself at home. I'm going to start making the pancakes."

Meredith took off her coat and sat on his bed. "Have you decided what to do with the land?" She asked.

"Well, I want to build a house. But I haven't come up with plans yet." Derek answered.

"Promise me one thing?" Meredith asked.

"Anything." Derek answered.

"Promise me you'll never sell this land." Meredith walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I promise." Derek smiled. He couldn't help but feel incredibly pleased at how much Meredith liked the land. He knew that he wanted to build a house with her, but he didn't want to rush things. They'd just gotten back together, and he liked the pace they were going. He had picked up that she was still grieving, and he didn't want to scare her off.

"Those were the best pancakes ever." Meredith said, savoring the last bite.

Derek smiled. "You're just trying to compliment my ego. Anyway, I believe we had a deal. Make up sex?" He picked her up and carried her the bed, where they proceeded to uphold the agreement they'd made.

Meredith woke up at 3:30 in the morning. Her internal clock was in shambles from practically working 24/7 before moving back. But for the first time, she felt comfortable waking up. Derek's arm was still around her. _I feel like it's just too good to be true. Like this dream could come crashing down any moment. I don't want it to end. I can't lose him again. _

"Mer." Derek mumbled. "Too early, sleep."

She hadn't realized she'd accidentally woken Derek up. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep." She whispered.

"I know. You stopped snoring." Derek said, less sleepily.

"I used to get up at 3:30. There were always surgeries, and if I wasn't scrubbing in, I was in the gallery. I couldn't sleep anyway. Miriam thought I was going to collapse from exhaustion. I pretty much relied on coffee. My internal clock is still wacky." She explained. "I thought you couldn't sleep with me snoring." She remembered how he used to sneak out and then back in before she woke up.

Derek chuckled. "It's weird. After you left, I couldn't fall asleep without hearing you snore. It's sort of a peaceful sound."

Meredith snuggled in, closing her eyes. "Let's try to get some more sleep." She felt safe in Derek's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Meredith felt like she was living a wonderful dream. After the magical night in the trailer, she'd woken up to Derek's smile. She wouldn't mind waking up to that smile every day. She wouldn't mind it at all. They'd had time for a quickie, which put her in a wonderful mood. Cristina had easily figured out that she'd gotten McLaid. Not long after, the entire hospital pretty much knew that she and Derek were back together. At least the nurses had backed off of her McDreamy completely. Not that McSteamy didn't welcome the additional nurses' attention.

The week felt like it was flying by. Meredith had been so enclosed in her bubble of happiness that she had totally forgotten about her promise to Miriam to go to grief counseling. When Miriam called, Meredith admitted she had yet to attend but promised she would. Cristina had made a joke or two about it, but supported Meredith. After all, Cristina was slightly in a better mood. Webber had hired a new head of cardio, which meant cardio surgeries, but the new head Dr. Erica Hahn was a bitch that was determined to keep Cristina off her service.

Meredith sighed as she stood outside the door of grief counseling. Finally, she grit her teeth and walked in, not knowing what to expect. She wanted to snicker the moment she entered. The room looked like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. She sat in an empty chair. She almost didn't recognize the blonde that sat down next to her. She held her breath, hoping that Lexie wouldn't recognize her.

"Hi, I'm Cheryl Sanders. I'm in charge of these meetings. I believe that grief counseling in a group is the best way to come to terms with the loved ones we've lost. Since this is the first time for a lot of you, let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves and say something about who we lost. I'll start. I lost my brother. He was a soldier in Iraq."

The group went around a circle. "I'm Finn Dandridge. I lost my wife last year." A sandy-blond man said.

"I'm Lexie Grey. I lost my mother earlier this year. I moved back here from Boston." Lexie said.

"I'm Meredith Grey. I lost my son earlier this year." Meredith noticed some people scrutinizing her and Lexie, probably trying to figure out if the two were sisters. Lexie noticed Meredith for the first time. Meredith gave her a small smile. Meredith despised her mother sometimes, but she couldn't imagine what it'd be like for her to die.

When the session was nearing a close, Cheryl announced, "You have homework! I want all of you to connect with someone. An old friend, a new acquaintance. The point of the assignment is to open yourself up again. It's okay if it's hard. It's worth it."

Meredith rolled her eyes. Lexie failed at snickering, which made Meredith smile. Maybe Meredith could handle Lexie, who might not be as bright and shiny as Meredith previously assumed.

"I'm really sorry for your loss." Meredith finally said.

Lexie shrugged as they stood up. "Surprisingly, I'm handling it best out of everyone. I'm sorry about your son."

Before Meredith could reply, a male voice interrupted their conversation.

"Hi, you're Meredith right? I'm Finn." He stuck his hand out. Meredith reluctantly shook it.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for your loss." Meredith felt like she sounded like a broken record.

"So, this might be quite upfront but I was wondering if you'd like to connect with me. I mean, for our homework." Finn smiled.

"Excuse you. Find your own partner. I called Meredith." Lexie butted in. Meredith held back laughter. Yeah, she could definitely handle Lexie.

Finn turned red. "I'm sorry." He walked away.

Meredith let out the laughter that she'd been holding in. "I must apologize for being rude in Boston."

"It's all water under the bridge thing." Lexie replied.

"I didn't know you were from Seattle." Meredith said.

"My parents met here. My sister and I were born and raised here. I moved out east for med school. My dad's practically drinking himself to death since my mom died and neither Molly nor I can stop him." Lexie answered.

"I guess that explains why he never tried to contact me." Meredith offered.

"I think he's a huge jerk for that, by the way." Lexie commented.

The two were walking towards the hospital, which was a few blocks away. Well, Meredith had started walking that way and Lexie hadn't objected.

"Well, I blame my mother more. She had an affair. With a man who's now my Chief." Meredith confessed. "By the way, don't hate me if I don't show up at the next grief thing."

Lexie laughed. "I don't think I'm going back either. Cherry or whatever her name is just bothers me. Where are you headed?"

"Back to the hospital. I have a surgery." Meredith replied, pushing a button for the crosswalk.

"That's so cool. Can I watch?" Lexie sounded so excited Meredith couldn't refuse.

"Sure. I'll sneak you into the gallery. Besides, you'll probably intern here, right? In a month, when we get the new interns?"

Lexie sighed. "I don't know. I have to take care of my dad. Molly's married and has a daughter. Her husband's overseas. " There was a slight pause before Lexie blurted, "I hate him right now. He's just letting himself drown in his sorrow. I'm mourning too, but I'm not letting myself go to pieces. I love him, but I don't want to take care of him like this. I want the man who was my dad back, because the guy drinking himself to death certainly doesn't act like my dad."

Meredith was thinking of advice to give when Lexie continued to rant. "Actually, I might be a mess. I kind of dyed my hair blonde because my mother died and it looks so weird and it's like not me at all. Obviously, it's not permanent but still."

"Don't worry. I'm a mess too." Meredith said.

"You are?" Lexie asked.

Meredith laughed. "I had a one night stand who I kicked out of my house the first morning of my internship. He turned out to be my attending, who convinced me to be in a relationship or whatever with him. His wife showed up and basically called me a slutty intern. Then I pretty much told him I loved him only for him to pick his wife. Then I found out I was pregnant with his kid, so I moved to Boston. I miscarried in the second trimester because I have a stupid hostile uterus. Only, I had already named the kid and everything which made it so much worse. Plus, I was still in love with the guy. My person was supposed to get hitched and I was the maid of honor, so I decided just to move back since I couldn't take walking through the halls of where I miscarried. Anyways, I'm now back with the guy and it's really great. Plus, my mom has Alzheimer's."

They were outside the hospital now. Lexie turned to Meredith and hugged her. After a moment, Meredith hugged her back. Somehow, it was easy for the two sisters to talk to each other.

"Don't get all sappy now. We've got a surgery." Meredith remarked as they pulled apart.

"Your girlfriend has company." Mark remarked as he stood next to Derek, who was examining a patient's charts.

"Huh?" Derek turned to look where Mark was gazing. Derek relaxed to see it was just a girl. "

Mark raised an eyebrow. "Someone gets jealous easily."

Derek scoffed. "Do not."

Before Mark could answer, Meredith had approached with her guest.

"Derek, can I have a tiny favor?" Meredith asked, flirtingly.

Derek smiled, pulling her in for a kiss. "Maybe."

"Derek and Mark, this is Lexie who is my sister. Lexie, this is Derek, the guy I told you about and that's Mark, his best friend and the head of Plastics." Meredith made the necessary introductions."So my sister wants to watch me clip the aneurysm. Can she? Please, Derek?" Meredith made sure to bat her eyelashes for good measure.

"I didn't know you had a sister." Derek commented.

"Well technically, half sister. We share a father. Meredith didn't even know I existed until I approached her in Boston. And then we met again today." Lexie interjected.

Derek sighed. "Fine. You can sit in the gallery."

Meredith kissed him. "Thank you!"

After the two walked off, Mark snickered. "You're so whipped."

Derek shoved him gently. "Shut up."

"Her sister's hot." Mark commented.

"Don't even go there." Derek said.

"Why not?" Mark asked.

"She's Little Grey! If you hurt her, then she'll tell Meredith. And Meredith will yell at me." Derek replied.

"Fine." Mark sighed.

"Mer! Thank god I found you." Cristina exclaimed as she approached her person.

"Cristina! What's wrong? By the way, this is Lexie, my half sister. Lexie, this is Cristina, my person." Meredith asked before making introductions.

"Hahn took me off her service. I am never ever going to see the inside of a cardio OR again. It's all over." Cristina whined.

"But you're the best at cardio." Meredith said.

"I KNOW! She says she doesn't like people who sleep their way to the top. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. So what if I dated a couple cardio surgeons?" Cristina added.

"Sounds like she's got her knickers in a twist. You shouldn't take it personally. Maybe she's just not getting any." Lexie offered.

Meredith and Cristina cracked up. "You're pretty cool." Cristina said to Lexie. "You better be interning here. I'll bestow you with some of my cardio knowledge."

Meredith checked her watch. "Cristina, we've got to run. Aneurysm that has to be clipped."

"Screw you and your solo surgeries. I'm going to go stalk the pit." Cristina replied.

The surgery had gone flawlessly. Lexie was waiting for Meredith outside when she had finished scrubbing out. The two walked to the nurses' station where Meredith could place her patient's chart.

"You're amazing." Lexie said.

"Thanks. I meant what I said, you should come here. You have to take care of yourself too." Meredith replied.

Lexie checked the time. "I should go." She said.

"Wait." Meredith jotted down her phone number and address on a piece of paper. She handed it to Lexie. "If you ever need to find me. Um, I have a few roommates. If I'm not there, I'm probably here or at Derek's. If I'm at Derek's, uh, it's probably a do not disturb type of thing."

Lexie smiled. "Thanks."

Lexie walked to the elevator. She was on her way down when the door opened and Mark entered. Lexie hadn't really gotten a good look at him earlier, but goodness he was attractive. He had some grey hairs, but Lexie felt like it only added to his attractiveness. Lexie felt herself blush. _Great. I'm practically drooling over the fact that I'm in an elevator with a hot guy. _

Thankfully, the elevator pinged and she got off. She checked the time once more before hurrying. Her dad was probably just starting on his first bottle, which meant she might be able to talk him into not picking up a second bottle.

Meredith felt arms wrap around her waist. "Hi." She said.

"Hi." Derek smiled.

Meredith reached into her scrub pocket for something she'd forgotten about earlier. She'd meant to give it to him that morning, but he'd been rushed into an emergency surgery.

"I have a present." Meredith sang.

Derek held out his hand. Meredith giggled and placed the key into his palm.

"I'm keying you." She announced. "I mean, I know we're taking things slow but if we don't have shifts that end or start at the same time, I figure you can come over if you want without having to ring the doorbell. And you still have pajamas and stuff at my house, so it's really not a problem if you want to sleep over."

Derek grinned. "Just sleep?"

Meredith blushed. "Or something."

"Or something." Derek affirmed. Then he leaned in and whispered, "I can show you something in the oncall room."

Meredith nodded and watched him go into one before following him. _This week really has been perfect._


	8. Chapter 8

The elevator dinged as Meredith and Derek exited the elevator, holding hands. As they approached the nurses' station to pick up their patient charts, Nurse Tyler passed a bouquet of flowers to Meredith.

"A guy dropped these off for you." He said.

"Meredith?" Derek asked, confused. Meredith plucked off the note and groaned when she saw the sender. She hated how strong the scent of the roses were. _Meredith, we should do our homework. Finn. _He'd also written his phone number.

"At grief counseling, the manager lady gave us an assignment, which was to connect with somebody with the intent of opening up or whatever. I was talking to Lexie when this guy had walked up and asked me if I wanted to connect with him. Lexie told him to butt out and I totally forgot about it until now." Meredith explained.

"So what are you going to do with those?" Derek asked, pointing at the flowers.

Meredith walked to the trashcan and unceremoniously dropped the bouquet in. "Throw them out. I suppose it's a kind gesture of him to send flowers, but I have no intention of keeping them. Now, come on. We've got rounds!"

Derek smiled. His jealousy had faded. He wondered idly how she'd accept flowers if he sent them.

When Meredith was paged to the ER, she saw a face she'd never expected to see when she opened the curtain. Thatcher was laying on the gurney while Lexie stood by his bed.

"Thank god Meredith. I don't know what happened. I was so scared and I know you can't operate or treat him since he's family but I didn't know what else to do. The nurse said they could page you." Lexie was panicking.

"Lexie, how much has he been drinking?" Meredith asked.

"A lot. I don't know how much exactly. Oh god, you think it's his liver, don't you?" Lexie answered.

Meredith nodded. "I'll run some tests to confirm but it's most likely his liver. I can try to see if UNOS will accept him but I doubt it since he's been drinking. If UNOS doesn't accept him, you can get tested to see if you're an eligible donor. The same goes for your sister."

"Are you going to get tested?" Lexie asked.

"He's not my father." Meredith answered simply. "I'm going to get Dr. Bailey. She'll be on your dad's case. I'll check in on you, okay?" Meredith thought Bailey would be best for the case. Meredith couldn't take it on account of the patient being her father. Thatcher probably wouldn't want to see Richard after what happened.

"Meredith? Is that you?" Thatcher groaned from the gurney.

"Hi." Meredith said.

"You've grown so much."

"It's been a while since we last saw each other." Meredith said simply. _I haven't seen you since you walked out on me. I get that Mom cheated and you left. But you could've tried harder to keep in touch with me. I never found a drawer of unopened birthday cards because you were too busy with your other daughters and your new wife. _

Meredith was thankful for whatever person was paging her. She excused herself and ran off to the CT lab where Derek was waiting.

"Want to scrub in on this tumor?" He asked, letting her take a look at the scans.

"Yes, please!" Meredith answered. She loved working with Derek. He was always so invested in every surgery, especially the ones that seemed impossible.

"Great. Let's go, they're prepping the OR." Derek said, getting up.

10 minutes later, Derek said, "It's a beautiful day to save lives."

Derek smiled behind his mask as Meredith handed him what he needed before he even had to ask. He loved working with her, simply because she was wonderful to be around in an OR. She kept his spirits high, was great no matter what the circumstances were, and just knew what he needed.

Meredith was glad Derek had asked her to scrub in. The tumor was one of a kind, and Derek was giving her valuable experience. Plus, the tumor demanded all of her attention, so she didn't have room to think about Thatcher.

M&L

Lexie was pacing around the ER when she bumped into someone.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." She apologized before looking up into the eyes of none other than Mark Sloan. He grinned as recognition set in.

"Little Grey!" He said. "What are you doing here?"

Lexie blushed at the nickname. _It's just a nickname. He probably doesn't even remember your real name. Stop acting like a girl who reads way too much into everything. _"Um, my dad needs a new liver. I'm waiting to see if I'm an eligible donor. My sister Molly isn't so if I'm not, then my dad can't get a new liver. And I don't want to think about what that means."

Mark's smile faded. "Lexie, I'm sorry. Did you ask Meredith?"

Lexie almost jumped for joy. He remembered her name. _I'm officially insane. Here I am, stressed about my dad but happy about a hot guy remembering my name. What a mess._ "Biologically, he's her dad but they haven't seen each other in years so Meredith doesn't really want to get tested. I don't blame her and I don't want to push her."

Mark felt like he couldn't leave her alone. "Do you want me to stay with you until the results come back? I figure you can use some company. And you wouldn't crash into any more people with your pacing."

Lexie nodded. "That sounds really nice." She was impressed. He wasn't just attractive, he was kind.

"So, tell me about yourself." Mark prompted.

"I have a photographic memory, I'm really good at drawing with etch-a-sketch's, I do this thing with my hands when I talk sometimes." Lexie said.

"A photographic memory? That's so cool! Wait, periodic table. Go." Mark replied.

Lexie laughed. "Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon. I can keep going if you want."

"That's really impressive." Mark said.

Lexie noticed Dr. Bailey walking over, holding the envelope that had her test results. She held her breath.

"I'm so sorry, you're not a viable donor." Dr. Bailey said. Lexie slumped. There was no way her dad was going to get a liver. He was going to die and she couldn't do anything about it.

"What do I do now?" Lexie asked, sniffling.

"We wait." Dr. Bailey answered.

Mark's pager went off. "They need me for a consult. I'm sorry, but I have to go." He said to Lexie, hoping she'd be okay.

She nodded. "Thanks for sitting with me."

D&M

The surgery had gone perfectly. Their patient was now tumor free. As they exited the scrub room, they headed towards the nurses' station to update the patient's chart.

"Dr. Grey, these flowers came for you." Nurse Olivia passed Meredith a bouquet of flowers.

Meredith hoped Derek wouldn't freak. Finn was definitely persistent. She picked up the card to see what it said. _I hope you like these flowers. Derek._ He had ordered lilacs, which were her favorite flower.

She turned around to see Derek grinning. She squealed in happiness and hugged him. "I love these. I'm going to find a nice vase when we get home to keep these in. Lilacs are my favorite flower." She beamed.

He chuckled, holding her close. "I assumed you didn't like roses by the way you tossed the ones you got this morning. Then I realized that another man had gotten you flowers but I hadn't. So I decided to order some."

"Roses are okay. I usually don't mind them. I don't like when other men get me flowers." Meredith clarified, causing Derek's smile to grow even larger.

"But I can give you flowers?" He asked.

"You can give me flowers anytime you want." Meredith smiled up at him as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Get a room, lovebirds." Cristina said as she walked by.

"Sorry not sorry." Meredith smirked.

"Meredith!" Derek turned to see Mark running towards them. He had no idea why Mark was searching for Meredith.

"Mark?" Meredith asked, confused.

"How much do you care about Lexie?" He demanded.

"You didn't sleep with her, did you?" Derek groaned.

Mark sighed, exasperated. "I didn't sleep with her."

Meredith interrupted. "Why are you asking?"

"Because she's not a match and neither is Molly. " Mark answered. "She respects that you don't want to so she didn't want to ask you but she's really upset."

"No offense, but why would you care?" Meredith asked. She knew all too well about Mark's reputation.

"Because she's a great person! She's hilarious and beautiful. I don't want to see her hurt." Mark exclaimed. He didn't see what the big deal was.

Meredith softened. "I'll think about it."

"Good." Mark ran off.

"Is Lexie okay?" Derek asked.

Meredith sighed. "Her father is in the ER with liver failure. He needs a new liver but he's an alcoholic so UNOS won't accept him obviously. Lexie and Molly don't match. I'm the only person who might match now. Am I a terrible person for not wanting to donate part of my liver to him?"

Derek shook his head. "Meredith, you're not a terrible person at all. He walked out of your life, you don't owe him anything." Derek knew that Meredith had practically raised herself. He couldn't understand how her parents could have done that to her.

"I don't want Lexie to hurt though." Meredith admitted.

"Meredith, it's your decision. I'll stand by you no matter what you choose." Derek said.

"I love you." Meredith said.

"I love you too." Derek smiled.

"Will you test me?" Meredith asked, grabbing the necessary supplied and leading Derek into an exam room.

Meredith held the results in her hand with shaky hands. She was a match. She exhaled and inhaled, exhaled and inhaled. Finally, she headed to Thatcher's room, holding Derek's hand.

Lexie stood up when they entered. Before anyone could say anything, Meredith started speaking to Thatcher, who looked surprised.

"I'm not doing this for you. You're a complete stranger. Well, maybe not complete. You poured my cereal until I was five, but that doesn't mean anything to me anymore. You put yourself in this position, and you have nobody but yourself to blame. But if I do donate my liver, I expect you to get clean. If you don't, I'll force you into rehab. Because I'm only doing this for Lexie. She's my sister. You've already made her give up so much just to take care of you, and that's not fair. In a month, she could be starting her internship and residency here, not having to take care of you. So you're going to get clean because Lexie deserves better. You may not be my father, but you are hers. Act like it." Meredith said. She was sure that she'd probably cut off all the circulation in Derek's hand from how tightly she was holding it.

"Meredith, you don't have to do this for me." Lexie said.

"I don't want to see you hurt. He's your dad." Meredith said simply. "I already told Dr. Bailey. The surgery is set for tomorrow. Lexie, you should go home and get some sleep. He'll be fine here overnight. They'll monitor him." She hugged Lexie. "Derek and I are leaving now. We'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Derek smiled at how sisterly Meredith was. As they exited, Meredith said, "Sorry if I squeezed your hand too tight."

"You didn't. You're a really good sister." Derek replied.

"Speaking of sisters, are you ever going to tell me about yours?" Meredith asked.

Derek shrugged. "Not tonight. It's been a long day and I'd like nothing more than to just go home with you."

Meredith smiled. "The trailer?" They stayed at the trailer or at Meredith's house, depending on when her roommates were working and what time they left. Meredith had a suitcase at the trailer and Derek had a drawer at her house. They practically lived together.

"The trailer." Derek confirmed, kissing her cheek.


End file.
